Wishing it had Never Happened
by hidden-in-a-tree
Summary: A slipup at work has Greg wondering why this had to happen. Was it just an accident, or was it fate? Two chapters. Slight angst, slight romance. Slash. Greg’s POV, first person. Nick/Greg.
1. Part One

**Author's Note: **Two chapters. Slight angst, slight romance. Slash. Greg's POV. Nick/Greg.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters… except for Rachelle, but she doesn't count.

**Acknowledgements: **Thanks to Amanda for proofreading my work.

**Summary: **A slipup at work has Greg wondering why this had to happen. Was it just an accident, or was it fate?

**Wishing it had Never Happened**

"_But that intimacy of mutual embarrassment, in which each feels that the other is feeling something, having once existed, its effect is not to be done away with."  
-George Eliot_

Has there ever been a moment when you just wished you could disappear? A moment in your past (even in the future, 'cause you know it's going to happen) that you wished you could've just run as fast as you could in the opposite direction? Those kind of moments that you wish you could just close your eyes and when you open them, you'll be at home in your bedroom, lying on your bed.

We've all been there, but sometimes those moments are worse than others. I can still recall the day perfectly, that day that I wish I could forget, and the day I will always remember.

_Another triple murder case. We'd had about four this month, and it was soon going to be out of hand. I was looking over some footprints in the layout room when Nick came in, his eyes tired but a smile on his face._

_Oh God, that smile. That smile that could stop your heart and make it start all at the same time. That smile that said, "You're the only one who can make me happy." That smile that made you want to grin back, because when you looked in his eyes and smiled as well, everything was perfect. It didn't matter that you were late paying your electricity bill, or the rent for your apartment was overdue, or the fact that your cat had just gotten run over, or your grandmother had died. In his smile, you knew you'd make it out okay… even if Fluffy and Granny didn't._

_"Hey G," Nick said, leaning up against the layout table, his arms crossed carelessly, "how's your case going?" _

_I stiffened, trying to avert my eyes from Nick. I had to focus on the footprints in front of me…_

_"Still in progress. Warrick and Cath are out looking for more clues. All we have is this," I said, waving my hand at the different photos of footprints. Nick moved closer, standing right behind me. _

_My temperature skyrocketed; my breathing almost became erratic. I tried to keep under control…_

_"It looks like that one is a high heel," Nick noted, pointing at a picture of a pool of blood on the linoleum. _

_"I uh, thought so too," I agreed. Was that sweat on my brow? Thankfully Nick moved back, leaning against the table again, observing me with his dark eyes. _

_I tried ignoring him, hoping Nick would leave. _

_He didn't._

_"Can I help you?" I finally spat out, sounding more annoyed than I had intended to. Nick's eyebrows rose._

_"What's up, boss?" Nick asked, a mock hurt tone in his voice. I cringed internally. That accent could drive me insane sometimes. In Nick's voice, he could work in sounding thoughtful, deep, soulful and caring all at once. His voice was the last thing I'd want to hear before falling asleep, and the first thing I'd dream of hearing when I awoke, but I knew that it would never happen._

_I took a deep breath and turned around to face Nick._

_"Sorry, I'm just under stress. Ecklie's been leaning hard on Grissom to get this wrapped up, and Gris is then leaning on me to get this done… and I sort of can't when you're here."_

_"Oh," Nick replied, "sorry, I didn't know I was distracting you…" _

_I kicked myself. I shouldn't have said it like that. Now Nick probably knew what I actually thought of him._

_"…just wanted to tell you something," Nick finished. I blinked._

_"Tell me what?"_

_"I met this woman today. I was finishing up photos when this she walked by and dropped her purse. I caught up to her and that's when I realized she had the most beautiful red hair and gorgeous brown eyes I had ever seen," Nick told me, flashing that smile again. _

_I felt as if my heart had dropped into my stomach. My legs were numb, but at the same time I could feel my heart beating in my knees. My hands felt limp, my arms hanging heavily by my side. _

_"Oh," I finally responded, my voice flat. I wanted to exclaim, "Why do I care?" but I didn't dare. _

_"I'm telling you this," Nick told me, oblivious to my change in mood, "because we usually hang out on our days off, but next night I get off I'm going to ask her out to dinner."_

_I nodded, not fully sure that I had even heard what Nick had just said._

_'…gorgeous brown eyes…' _

_"Greggo?" _

_"What?" I asked, snapping back to reality. Nick was standing right beside me. _

_"I was just going to ask if, once you're done this, you could tell Warrick that some woman kept phoning for him. I talked to the secretary and she was…" Nick trailed off, taking a step back from me. Had he seen the look of rage in my deep chocolate eyes?_

_"You know what Nick? No, I WON'T tell Warrick anything for you!" I exploded, whirling back around and shuffling some papers irritably._

_"Okay, sorry I asked," Nick said, anger creeping into his own voice. "I just asked because friends do this kind of thing for each other." _

_Nick was almost to the door when I spoke again._

_"Yeah, because we'll never be more than just friends, will we?" I muttered, my voice cracking. _

_Nick paused, almost as if he was going to look over his shoulder, but thought better of it. In an instant, he was gone._

That little incident had happened almost a week ago. Every time I think about it, I just squeeze my eyes tight and pray that it had never happened. I'd then open my eyes, and if Nick was still avoiding me then I knew the awful truth- it had happened.

For once in my career, Grissom had given me a Friday off. I didn't really notice who else he gave the evening off to, all I knew was that instead of feeling bad at work, I got to feel bad at home.

After popping myself a huge bowl of popcorn and sitting down with a frothing glass of Coke, I was ready for a night of scary movies. I flicked on the TV and searched for my favorite horror movie channel, finally coming upon _Hide and Seek_. I settled in to my worn couch and stuffed my hand into the warm bowl of buttered popcorn.

It was just getting good, when, of course, the doorbell rang. I chose to ignore it. I was getting pretty close to having a guess as to who Charlie really was. It had to be…

The doorbell rang again. I rolled my eyes and, sighing, I put my bowl of popcorn onto the coffee table.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," I groaned as the ringing bell chimed again, echoing throughout my apartment.

I stopped at the doorway and glanced down at my clothes. I was wearing one of my old t-shirts, and a pair of faded black jeans. My hair must've been a complete mess. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and opened the door. I was definitely not expecting the person who had rang my doorbell.


	2. Part Two

**Wishing it Never Happened**  
_**Part Two**_

Nick stood before me; his hands pushed deep into his jean pockets. He looked at me with his magnificent eyes and I almost stopped breathing.

Nick cleared his throat then said, "Hey." He shifted his weight onto his right foot. I didn't move. Had Nick ever ventured over to my residence? Usually I always went over to his house, or we went out somewhere. Nick hadn't ever been to my house, and yet…

Coming back to my senses, I responded. "Hi."

"Look Greg, do you mind if I come in? We need to talk," Nick told me, glancing past me into my apartment.

"Oh?" I said, an air of fake curiosity shoved into my voice. "Whatever would we talk about?"

"About Rachelle," Nick replied, clearing his throat again.

I shut the door in his face. I didn't want to hear about _Rachelle_. Nick already knew how I felt. I didn't need to be told that he didn't feel the same way about me. I got it. If he said it to my face, I'd probably just stop breathing all together. My heart would just… stop beating. I'd rather not hear it from him; hear the disgust woven into his deep voice.

"Greg!" Nick hollered through the door. I folded my arms and leaned against the wooden door.

"Greg, please open the door. I don't want your neighbors to think I'm breaking down the door."

Was Nick actually begging?

"Greg, please."

I opened the door a crack. I could see the older man's dark brown hair, his beautiful eyes and his square jaw. Right now he had a look of determination on his face. I had seen that look often, usually when he was dealing with a particularly stubborn suspect.

"Greg, I'm sorry that…"

"No, I get it," I interrupted him, blinking furiously to keep the tears out of my eyes. "It's okay. I understand, Nick." I tried shutting the door again, but he stuck his foot in the crack.

"No Greg, I don't think you do."

I just looked at him, fiercely trying to keep my eyes under control. I wouldn't allow myself to break down, to show him how much this had hurt me.

"Greg, please. Let me in," Nick requested, his voice soft and gentle. I couldn't say no. I pulled back the door and allowed him in, hating myself for crumbling so fast. Oh, how I wished I could stay mad at him. I needed the strength.

Nick walked into my living room, taking in everything. I knew he was looking at my half finished bowl of popcorn, my still full glass of Coke and the credits rolling on the muted TV.

"Party for one, I guess," Nick joked, turning back to me.

Okay, I retract my previous statement. I could remain mad at him.

"Out," I ordered, opening the front door again.

"No, Greg, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," Nick said quickly, putting his hands up defensively.

"You said that I don't understand," I said hotly, ignoring his imploring eyes. "What don't I understand?"

Nick sighed and sat down on my couch. I could tell he was wondering why I had the junky, ratty thing. He didn't know that it used to be Papa Olaf's old couch, and I had spent many summers sitting with my grandfather on it. Nick didn't know, and I wasn't about to tell him.

Nick struggled to speak for a minute. He'd open his mouth, and then shut it quickly. I tried to wait patiently, but I was itching to push Nick out the door. I was through with this.

"I'm sorry I was avoiding you," Nick finally said, his eyes still fixed on mine. "I just didn't know what to do."

I didn't respond. There had to be more than that. I had accidentally allowed myself to voice my thoughts about us being more than friends, and he only comes over to apologize for avoiding me?

I rolled my eyes then asked, "That it?"

"No, I just…" Nick's voice faltered. He looked weakly at me, almost as if he was begging me to speak, to say something. I glared back defiantly. I wouldn't give him an outlet.

"If that's it, then I accept your apology," I told him scathingly, opening the front door again. This time he was leaving. "I'm glad we could have this heart to heart chat. Come by again, sometime."

Nick didn't move; he just stared at me, as if seeing me for the first time in his life. His eyes conveyed confusion, sadness, and friendship. In my head a ferocious battle was raging; I wanted Nick to leave me alone, but then again I didn't want us to part company.

"Why are you so angry?" Nick finally inquired, puzzlement in his voice. I snapped.

"Why am I so angry? Why the hell do you think I'm angry?" I snarled, slamming the door shut. Nick's face was completely blank.

"Greg, I..."

"You don't have to say it," I exclaimed, almost as if I was in physical pain. "I know you don't feel the same way I do. I get it. I'm sure you're missing a date with Rachelle to be here, so you should go call her up."

I flung the door open again, breathing hard. My head was aching, my eyes felt as if a million pins were sticking into them.

Nick stood slowly and walked towards me, a strange look on his face. He stopped almost an inch away from me and I could recall other times where we had stood this close. Those times I felt as if I would never be able to breathe again.

Nick raised his hand to my face and I cringed, thinking he was going to strike me. Instead, he cupped his hand under my chin and raised it, making me look into his over bright eyes.

He pressed his lips to mine in a kiss full of deeply suppressed passion. It seemed as if in an instant it was over, or was it a full lifetime? He pulled back, a smile playing across his mouth. I couldn't even move; I felt as if I had been paralyzed. Could this really be happening?

"Greg… you're amazing. I'm sorry it took so long for me to realize that," the Texan whispered huskily.

"It's okay," I murmured and, without realizing I had regained control of my limbs, I put one hand behind his neck and one behind his waist, bringing him close. I felt my lips softly press up against Nick's, sweetly and tenderly.

Yeah, we're going to have moments where we wish we could have just died, but there are also the moments that we will always smile about till the day we die. I knew, as I stood with my arms wrapped around Nick, I would always remember this day.

Take **that**, Rachelle. You'll always remember getting stood up, while I'll always remember having someone stand beside me.


End file.
